Over the July 4th long weekend, my family and I spent time in Windham, NY, for our early summer tradition of transforming our children into ‘junior farmers’ for a few days on a multi-generational family farm. Windham is one of those places where the mountains absorb the noise of daily life. I kept thinking about how important it is for leaders like us to change our setting, to step away from the familiar rhythms that keep us moving but not necessarily growing.
I wanted to write about this—about how we need that physical and mental distance to truly recharge—but every time I tried, it felt obvious. Like something you’d read in any wellness article and think, “Yes, of course, but when exactly am I supposed to do that?”
I was about to switch topics when I saw Dina Dunham Smith’s Harvard Business Review article (published on July 11) about how leaders need to protect their well-being. Summer may indeed be the season for leadership recovery advice.
Dunham Smith writes about how leaders are facing unprecedented challenges: not dramatic crises, but the quiet accumulation of “just another Tuesday” moments that slowly drain our emotional reserves.
The data she references from Gallup’s State of the Global Workplace is sobering:
📉 Global employee engagement dropped significantly in 2024—for only the second time in 12 years (the first time was in 2020, not surprisingly)
🎯 The decline was entirely due to managers, not frontline workers
📊 77% of managers report their role is more challenging than ever
Smith offers three research-backed practices for recovery: reflect to make meaning, reframe to shift perspective, and restore to replenish emotional reserves. All thoughtful and important advice, which felt familiar to me in the way that good advice often does. But the problem isn’t that we don’t know what to do—it’s that we don’t actually do it.
Why Good Advice Isn’t Enough
Research shows that transformation is 20% insight and 80% muscle building. However, most of our attempts at change stop at insight. We attend workshops, read articles like Smith’s, promise ourselves things will be different, and then wonder why nothing sticks.
I spent 20 years as an educational leader, where my job was to know how people learn, and still I read the articles, attended the workshops, and wondered why things didn’t change.
It wasn’t until I became an executive and leadership coach that I had time and space not just to study, but to practice how to make transformative changes in my life and my client’s. And what works is daily practice. It sounds simple, but it is not easy.
What I’ve Learned About Making Change Stick
Here’s where my experience with the Positive Intelligence Program comes in—not as a sales pitch, but as someone who’s been on both sides of this. I used to know I needed to set better boundaries with my calendar, take actual breaks instead of eating lunch at my desk, and stop checking emails first thing when I woke up—but I couldn’t make it happen consistently.
I would go to yoga class, try meditation, and speak to my therapist. All of those resources were (and continue to be!) important and useful, but I struggled to consistently shift to calm clearheadedness when I was actually stressed as a leader—like when a parent called to complain about a faculty member, or when I had to deliver difficult feedback to someone who I knew would have difficulty hearing it.
Smith’s three practices—reflect, reframe, restore—made perfect sense to me intellectually. But it’s much harder to pause and ask, “What am I feeling?” when you’re in the middle of a difficult conversation with a colleague than when you’re reading about it in a Harvard Business Review article.
The shift happened when I understood that mental fitness works like physical fitness. You wouldn’t expect to lift heavy weights without building up to them. Same here: we can’t expect to respond calmly under pressure without building the mental muscles through regular, small exercises.
That’s why, in addition to those wellness practices, I needed something that could help me build mental muscles consistently—so I could handle the heavy lifting when leadership got stressful.
From Knowing to Doing
When I completed the seven-week Positive Intelligence (PQ) Program back in January, I started to make these shifts with practice:
🧠 Notice my inner critic – I began catching that voice that says “just power through” instead of automatically following it
⚡ Activate the wiser part of my brain – Simple 10-second exercises helped me access calm clarity and creativity, especially under pressure
⏸️ Pause before reacting – Rather than immediately responding with stress, I started choosing responses that actually serve me
The detachment, relaxation, and restoration that Smith’s research shows we need? These became doable when I developed the ability to actually take action instead of just knowing I should.
This isn’t about being “fixed”—I still catch myself checking emails too early in the morning or pushing through when I should take a break. But now I notice it happening and can course-correct more quickly. I still listen to the Positive Intelligence Daily Focus and use the skills daily, in addition to continuing with the other self-care routines I know are so important.
Smith ends her article with this: “your team doesn’t just need you today—they need you to last.” That’s exactly why we need more than good advice. We need practical ways to do what we know we should do, especially when we’re tired or stressed as leaders.
Think of it this way: Smith gives us the workout plan. Without building the mental muscle to follow through consistently, most of us read it, nod along, and then keep doing what we’ve always done when pressure hits.
PS – If you’re tired of reading great advice like Smith’s but struggling to actually use it when you’re under pressure, you might be interested in exploring the Positive Intelligence Program yourself. The first step is taking the five-minute assessment on my website to understand what’s behind your stress patterns. After that, we’ll have a complimentary 45-minute conversation to see if this approach makes sense for your situation.